Geese are where you find them.

I was driving to work this morning, and heard a wonderful piece on the radio by Brigitte Mars, host of the herbal healing show Naturally. I was inspired to write her the following letter:

Dear Ms. Mars,

As a regular listener to KGNU, I have often enjoyed Naturally on Wednesday and Thursday mornings.
Your segment this morning (16 November) was, as always, interesting and enjoyable.
I was intrigued by your advice that persons at risk for influenza look into the benefits of the homoeopathic remedy Oscillococcinum.

Of particular interest was your thoughtful comment directed to Vegans — that although Oscillococcinum is made from goose liver, and some of us may be reluctant to use animal-derived products, the concern is lessened by the fact that only two geese are killed each year, and their livers furnish enough active ingredient to supply the entire world!

Your advice was well-placed, and I am sure it has brought comfort to those who are understandably loath to put their welfare in conflict with that of our fellow creatures. If I may, I would like to suggest a step some of us may take to reduce that harm even further. Since, as we know, homoeopathic remedies are made more potent as they are diluted, it is not necessary to kill a goose at all in order to derive an effective Oscillococcinum.

If capsules with some inert substance are placed in a container, and that container is slowly drawn across the abdomen of the goose, they will become at least as active as standard Oscillococcinum in preventing influenza. I strongly recommend this approach to those who wish to avoid causing needless pain and suffering, and to those on a confining budget.

One caution, however, is in order. Some people may be tempted to increase the effect still further by simply waving the container in the direction of Lyon, France, where Laboratoires Boiron keeps the Oscillococcinum geese. DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, ATTEMPT THIS! So doing is likely to dilute the Oscillococcinum so much that it acquires a dangerous potency, and the user is likely to overdose!

However, if this caveat is kept in mind, I am sure that many of us who love animals but are worried about the flu may enjoy all the benefits of homoeopathy while remaining secure in the knowledge that they have done no harm.

Yours Naturally,

Jim Easter

3 Responses to “Geese are where you find them.”

  1. Lise Says:

    Brilliant!

  2. Skeptico Says:

    You raise some interesting points.

    Of course, by doing nothing at all they would still “enjoy all the benefits of homoeopathy”. With the added advantage that the fees would also be reduced to a homeopathic magnitude.

  3. jessica Says:

    i wanted to always find one for a pet.

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